Thursday, November 6, 2008

Pulled a muscle in my tongue?

So things were getting better today. We were eating lunch upstairs with my boyfriend's mom and talking to her for a while. I even talked to her about me being depressed and my anxiety lately, and she was talking to me about how it's normal to feel depressed and that she goes through it too. Then my boyfriend and I went to the grocery store again and I bought some pretty flowers to cheer me up, and some chocolate. Anyways, let me get to right now because I'm kind of in the middle of a panic attack as I'm typing believe it or not. It's not full blown yet but it's getting there and I can feel myself losing control of my breathing. Basically what happened is I went upstairs to get a vase and I rolled my tongue to the side and all of a sudden I felt a really bad pain as if I pulled something in my throat. Turns out I think I just pulled a muscle in the back of my tongue, but now it's swollen and numb and my throat hurts and feels numb as well. I'm kind of freaking out. I called my dad and he said he's done the same thing a couple times before and my boyfriend said he's done it plenty of times. I can't help but keep feeling like it's going to get so swollen that I can't breathe anymore. It hurts when I move my tongue, talk, and even just sitting here. Hurts when I swallow too and the pain is getting worse. I want to just go to sleep but I'm afraid of suffocating. Right now my heart isn't going that fast but I feel a difficulty in breathing and my throat feels strained and sore. I don't want to panic and I'm trying not to but pulling a muscle in my tongue was not something I wanted especially since lately I've been very paranoid about my throat feeling closed and tight. I keep thinking I need to go to the hospital or something. I did take two Aleve right before I pulled it though and that's an anti-inflammatory drug. Ugh...my throat feels tighter. I feel like I can't breathe that well. I'm really trying not to panic but I'm afraid I won't be able to breathe. I'm going to try some positive self talk because right now I'm just making it worse for me.

Positive: What if it goes away soon and I end up being fine. I'll probably laugh about it tomorrow. Of course it's going to hurt and feel swollen right now, it's just swollen a little bit on one side but I can breathe fine. If anything happens we can always call an ambulance but I won't need to because everyone pulls the muscle back there sometimes, it's not life threatening. I'm going to be ok. My own dad even told me this has happened to him before. I'm overreacting and I just need to remain calm and not think about it. I pulled it about 10 minutes ago, maybe more, and I'm still fine and breathing so I'll be fine. It's perfectly normal for it to be sore and feel this way, it will go away.

I'm gonna go...I'll write more later. I'm trying to stay strong but the pain is getting worse and I'm upset.

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